Gregor, If Only You Had Spoken!

Task: Write a monologue for a literary character who did not get the chance to voice his/ her thoughts in the literary piece.

This essay was modeled on Kafka's Methamorphoses. For a short summary, click on the 'Read More' at the end of the essay.

Gregor, If Only You Had Spoken!

By

Myriam Sbeiti



  

‘Metamorphose’, by Franz Kafka, is the story of Gregor, who once wakes up to find himself slowly transforming into a cockroach. He does not take action immediately and by the time he wants to explain to his family what is happening, he cannot communicate anymore. This leads to his family gradually alienating him and despising him until he starves himself to escape his misery. Had he spoken with them from the start, his family might have been more understanding...

“Mother! Father! I cannot unlock the door. Something is happening to me, I am not sure what exactly, but I cannot move. What? The inspector is coming? Oh no, I cannot go to work; I am already having trouble getting out of bed! Why will you not come in? I know it is locked; I always lock the door before going to sleep. And if I could unlock it, I would. Do not be scared! I do not think I can contaminate you. Please come in; I need you right now; I am even having trouble speaking. Words are harder and harder to pronounce; soon you will not understand a word I say. At least agree to come in, even for a second. If you feel the sight of me is too repulsive to bear, then you shall hear no more of me. Is that a collision I hear? You are trying to open the door! Hurrah! You have not given up on me! Come, come to me! Family is all that matters you know. If I have you on my side, I need nothing else. You are in! Hello father, hello mother, hello sister. Come help me, quickly! I am stuck on my back, if I could just get myself upright again, maybe I could feel human again. Why do you all stand there? What is it? Have you seen a ghost? Is it the sight of me? You reel at the sight of me, do you not? Sister, do not cry. These tears are uncalled for! I am still the same. Mother! Father! I am still Gregor, your son. It is just same old me. Nothing has changed, do you not see? My appearance may have worsened, but what are appearances? What matters is what is in the heart, is it not? Are those not the same words you pronounced the other day, sister? Yet now you stare at my legs with such a horrified grimace, as if everything you value in me was gone, as if you only knew me from my physical appearance. Is that what you know of me then? Is that all Gregor represents to you? A human-looking son that brings home money once a month? Can you not see past my glistening black body? Well I am here now. Come closer, I will not bite. I may be ugly but I am not mean. Yes, that’s it. You take such hesitant steps, as if you fear me. Do you fear me, mother? You nod. But I see the love in your eyes. You understand, do you not? You feel that this odious, revolting creature waving its legs around is your son. After all, if you close your eyes and listen only to my words, can you not visualize me instead of the insect?    

Do it, I beg you. Just try; just close your eyes for a second. Listen to my voice. Do you hear this? It is not exactly as you remember it. I can feel my tongue becoming heavier and words are running into each other. Soon, I will not be able to pronounce a single word. But concentrate on what I say. I am Gregor, your son and your brother. Every morning I get up, have breakfast and take the train at 7:30 am. I have never been late once. Except today. But today is particular day. Today, I am not myself. Well, I am not quite myself. The odd turnout of events has already rid me of my physical identity; don’t take away my family one. You are all I have left to remind me of who I am. If you leave, I will truly become a cockroach. All that was Gregor about me will be gone. I need you now more than ever, to remind me of my true identity. Yes, that’s it. Come closer to me. Keep your eyes closed. Your touch... You do not understand, your touch is like a marvelous reminder of my previous life. And my skin is smooth, is it not? With your eyes closed, it is almost pleasant. Father, I can tell you are not convinced. But they will convince you... The women... They are... always... more sensitive... to this kind.... of situation... The words... I knew... this... would happen... Please... do not... leave me.

Summary

Metamorphoses

by

Franz Kafka

Gregor wakes up one morning to discover that he's become a "monstrous vermin" (1.1). As he struggles to come to terms with his new body, he realizes that he's late for his job as a traveling salesman. First his mother, then his father and sister, knock on his bedroom door in an effort to get him out of bed. His supervisor, the office manager, arrives to inquire about his absence. With his parents pleading with the office manager outside his bedroom door and his sister sobbing in another room, Gregor manages to crawl to his bedroom door, open it, and reveal to everyone his shocking new form. His mother collapses, and the office manager runs out of the apartment in horror. His father grabs a newspaper and the office manager's cane and chases Gregor around the living room. Gregor finally manages to crawl back to his bedroom door, but he gets stuck. His father firmly shoves him into the room and closes the door behind him.

Perplexed and horrified by Gregor's new body, both Gregor and the family settle into a routine in the following weeks and months. While Gregor gets to know the capabilities of his new body – and his new taste for rotten foods – Grete, his sister, becomes his primary caretaker, feeding him twice a day and cleaning his room.

One day, Grete discovers that Gregor enjoys crawling all around the room, including over the walls and the ceilings. Grete and the mother proceed to move the furniture out of Gregor's room to give him more space to roam. While up to this point Gregor has hidden himself whenever anyone walks into the room, he plants himself on top of a picture on the wall in an effort to express his wish that the furniture remains in his room. When the women return to the room, the mother sees Gregor and faints. Grete runs into the living room to get the mother some spirits, and Gregor follows. When Grete turns, she is startled by Gregor and runs back into Gregor's room. Flustered, Gregor scurries around the living room until he plops onto the table in the middle of the living room, exhausted.

After a brief while, the father returns home. Grete explains what has happened. The father, infuriated, chases Gregor around the living room and throws apples at him. One apple lodges into Gregor's back, paralyzing him. Suddenly, the mother runs from the room and begs the father to spare Gregor.

It takes a month for Gregor to heal from his wound. The door to Gregor's room is left open in the early evenings so that he can witness the family's nightly routine. While the father dozes in his bank messenger's uniform in a chair, the mother sews lingerie and Grete studies shorthand and French. The family hires a new cleaning woman, an old widow, who regularly chats with Gregor, much to Gregor's dismay. The family also takes in three boarders to make ends meet.

One night, the boarders invite Grete to play violin for them in the main room. Gregor is enthralled with Grete's playing, and creeps out into the middle of the room, in full view of all the spectators. At first amused, then horrified, the boarders declare that they intend to move out the next day without paying any rent. After the boarders retreat, the family confers. Grete insists that Gregor must be gotten rid of at all costs. Gregor, who is at this point still lying in the middle of the room, makes his way back into his room. Famished, exhausted, and depressed, Gregor dies early the next morning.

A few hours later, the cleaning woman discovers Gregor's corpse and announces his death to the family. After kicking out the boarders, the family decides to take a day off and take the trolley out into the country.